Elmo
Elmo (born c. 1972; age 3 in the show; age 47 today) is a furry red monster from the popular children's television program Sesame Street. Elmo is also an annoying red Muppet from Sesame Street. He has been on the show since the 1970's. Elmo is believed to be 3 years old according to the show, but he acts more childish than his age. Elmo likes to talk in the third person a lot, (meaning that he says "Elmo's so happy" instead of "I'm so happy"). Life History Early life (1972-1984) Elmo was born in 1972 as Elmo the Baby Monster. He grew up in the ghetto neighborhood of 123 Sesame Street, Brooklyn, NY. Elmo was once great friends with one of his former neighbors, his enemy named Mr. Rogers from Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, until he broke up with him and stayed with Big Bird on Sesame Street in 1984. Back in 1984 on a lost episode of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, Elmo was seen in the episode after Mr. Rogers took off his jacket during the intro of the show. About 15 minutes later when Mr. Rogers was talking about growing up in the episode, Elmo jumped in front of Mr. Roger's couch and played an hour-long tape of classic Weird Al Yankovic songs and the "Elmo's Got a Gun" hit single. When Mr. Rogers saw Elmo playing the tape, he got mad at Elmo and turned the tape off. After Mr. Rogers got mad at Elmo, he kicked him out of the show and the episode ended. After the episode, Elmo returned to Sesame Street with Big Bird and went back to Elmo's World. Elmo on Sesame Street (1985-1996) In 1985, . ﻿ Sesame Street Coming Soon Legends Main Legends Legends from Uncyclopedia “Out of all the strange,sick and nicely perverted things I have seen, Elmo is by far the most retarded of them all. He could be classified as Syphillis, the best of the Sexually Transmitted Diseases” ~''' '''Oscar Wilde A Brief Explanation of "Elmo" Elmo, (not to be confused with Elko, Hellmo & Dolph Ziggler), originally named Elmore J. Hitler, was raised in this Atlantic North-east by a wealthy family of rabid politicians in suites. After completing high school, Elmore left home to attend the University of Psychadelics in Brooklyn. Elmore showed an early aptitude for learning, and he began to truly come into his own intellectually in college. Unfortunately, college also opened Elmore's eyes to the dark nature of reality, and he became cold, stupid, and cynical. He began to slowly grow hateful and withdrawn, and turned to the natural escapes of the oppressed mind; opiates, and in their most sythesized form. He eventually gave up all hope on life, and attempted to go the way of the great artists, and die by his own hand. In his failure, he realized that he need help, and he enrolled himself in mental study facility. This place turned out to be a top secret government testing facility hidden in the middle of Detriot, known by the code name "Sesame Street". Through arduous years of genetic mutations and governmental "reprogramming" so to speak , Elmore was turned into "Elmo", a smiling simpleton and a form of Emo, subsisting only to aid the cause. Also Elmo's fur was originly white but it wasn't until after he went to a Slayer court where it Rained people's blood. People that had committed suicide. This stained Elmo for life. It scarred him too, but it stained Elmo more. It was from this he started up the band "Staind" (Note: Elmo can't spell). "Saint" Elmo needs to be put on FIRE. After a brief stay as the lead guitarist for "Staind" Elmo had a legendary fight with fellow band member, and lead vocalist for "Staind," Helen Keller in which an affair between the two was released to the public. Keller's finalized the argument with a final stab at Elmo. She is quoted as trying to say, "I faked everyone one." Elmo retorted with, "I didn't even know when you did have one you maoning bitch." Shortly after the feud Keller released a sex tape which is still poular today, in which Elmo can be seen giving "Colonel Angus"a visit.(If you catch my drift) Keller was seen on the receiving end moaning with her left hand. Elmo departed back into an apartment in New York City after the release of the video and denied to give a comment to the press. His life was in ruins and no company would hire him after his fiasco with helen Keller and his blood ath murders. Elmo began to study Time Travel on Wikipedia and soon befreinded fellow scientist Oscar Wilde whom, along with Elmo, invented a Time Machine. Elmo was the first semi-intelligent being to travel through time. His destination, the Old South. Elmo returned to some undetermined year in the Southern portion of the young United States. After staying there for what he claimed to have been two years, Elmo returned in the Time Machine with which he had gone to the Old South to five secondsafter his departure time. Wilde, at first, thought the expirement had failed, but upon questioning Elmo procured this story and published it on Wikipedia. The article was immediately taken down for being fictional, but not before a few hands found it upon the evil, satan following wikipedia. In the article Wilde tells of Elmo's journey and describes the plantation that Elmo had established. It had become the largest cotton producing Plantation in the South. On a side note: Some speculators speculate that Elmo was the inventor of the Cotton Gin and that is why his plantation was the most productive. Because of this it is believed that Elmo traveled to the 1790's and Eli Whitney is believed to be a freed slave of Elmo's who stole the invention and procured it as his own. After returning to the present day, Elmo sought out help from long time companion and sub Ernie. The flaming homo-sexual was not the person Elmo originally inteded to bring back to the 1790's, Elmo's original choice was Richard Simmons, but the flaming homosexuality of Ernie was a close second. Elmo returned to his southern plantation with Ernie, and therehe subjugated him to hard labor and, some speculate, as his personal Sex slave. It is unknown whetere Elmo was gay, but there is an old photograph of what is believed to be Elmo "riding" Ernie.(RIGHT) The Picture is from an old Southern encyclopedia trying to explain slavery. Elmo's sexuality has always been in question. After his heterosexual fling with Helen Keller Elmo seems to have become homosexual or at least bisexual. He never gain had a femal sex partner after Keller and one of his most infamous sex partners after her was Ernie. Bert was furious. It was rumored that Elmo left a message for Gonzo saying that "Elmo is going to fucking kill you, bitch!" Legends from Urban Dictionary Legends from Wikipedia Criticism Elmo has been criticized by many parents and older kids for his immature behavior on Sesame Street. Alleged death attempts In 2007, a boy from Florida recieved a stuffed Elmo toy as a gift from his mom. But after his mother changed the batteries of the toy, Elmo began making d**** threats. And then, James began repeating the threats of Elmo. The stuffed Elmo toy was put on "off-limits" from James because he was repeating the phrases. Trivia *'Elmo' was originally called Elmore (according to Uncyclopedia). *